


Nightly Routine

by obscureenthusiast



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Betazed is a fascinating planet and I wish we'd seen more of it, Gen, Meditation, Mother-Daughter Relationship, getting a little bit introspective about how deanna deals, this is just me, with feeling so much all the time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 09:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16678999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obscureenthusiast/pseuds/obscureenthusiast
Summary: Deanna Troi didn't always have a perfect grip on her abilities. She wasn't always so good at tuning out the noise of non-Betazoid minds. But, like any skill, practice makes perfect and repetition is key.We all have out nightly routines. Deanna's is just a little bit more important to her.





	Nightly Routine

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as part of my NaNoWriMo drabbles for one of my amazing friends, who requested "anything Deanna Troi" so!! I hope you like it!! <3

Deanna has her routines. She has to, or else she would never be able to sleep at night, quite literally.

When she lived on Betazed it was less of a problem. There were cultural understandings. People were aware of how to quiet their minds. How to keep thoughts soft and whispered. Nighttime was a time for individuals to reflect on their days, alone or in the company of a few. Deanna could sit out on the balcony and close her eyes and let the background susurrus of Betazed’s murmured emotions lull her own mind into relaxation. 

As she grew older, though… after her father died, she started to travel with her mother to distant worlds, where no one knew a thing about telepaths or even empaths. Where all through the night people were _loud_ and _brazen_ and their feelings were so close to the surface they may as well have been shouting. 

And Lwaxana had gently taken her hand and smiled at her, sending a gentle thought to her.

“Tune them out, little one. You’re allowed.”

Deanna had frowned at the statement, then squeezed her eyes tightly shut and tried her hardest to focus. To close the doors and leave just the connection to her mother.

But it was _deafening_. All the minds and emotions boiling around her, she could still hear them. Still _feel_ them surrounding her.

“Mother…” she whispered, tightening her grip on Lwaxana’s hand and looking to her for guidance.

Lwaxana had nodded, sending a tendril of warm comfort that felt like a big mug of hot chocolate, and quickly excused them from the rest of the visiting ambassadors and emissaries.

“Tell me the trouble, little one,” Lwaxana’s voice said in Deanna’s mind, pulling her close with hand on her shoulder, kissing the top of her head gently.

“I can still hear all of them,” Deanna sent back, heaving a sigh as she felt frustrated tears prickling at her eyes, “Doesn’t this place ever sleep?”

Lwaxana squeezed her shoulders, “Not many places do, I’m afraid. But that’s why I brought you here, I knew you needed to learn.”

Deanna turned her head to look at her mother, surprise bubbling up in her chest so suddenly that her next words came out audibly.

“What if I can’t?”

Lwaxana brushed some of Deanna’s hair out of her face and smiled, saying, also out loud.

“You can. Don’t doubt your abilities, little one.”

So, that night, Lwaxana had introduced Deanna to a few methods that would help her to quiet her mind and to push the emotions of others into the background. And routine. That was the most important part.

Deanna had slept fitfully that first night on a loud planet. But each day she got better. Each night Lwaxana walked her through the routine and helped to guide her mind through the steps.

By the time Deanna headed for Starfleet Academy, she could tune out the background noise as naturally as breathing. She had gotten good at selectively sensing the minds around her and at hiding how the constant low buzz of emotions sometimes left her with a headache. 

As long as she could sit alone for a little while at the end of the day. As long as she could have her cup of tea and soft music and meditation before bed.

Some days feel more difficult than others. Especially on Enterprise. When there’s so many bad days, uncertain days. When everyone is enclosed in the same small area and every mind is straining to have a moment to itself. When the stresses of Starfleet duties keep people up at night.

And when, above it all, _she_ is responsible. To listen to the grievances and offer what help she can. To _feel_ everything that others are feeling and do her best to ease their minds. She bites her tongue and nods and smiles and doesn’t allow anyone to see how tired she gets on the hardest days. Except for the few she trusts.

Deanna sighs out a low breath and takes a sip of her tea, her eyelids slipping closed as she acknowledges the frustration she’s feeling…

And lets it go. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like a drabble, I'll be taking requests all through November over on my tumblr @softbutchtashayar, but also through AO3 if you leave a (polite) comment!! ^_^


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